Happy Father's Day, Part 2

Thank You Pa

After a not-so-great Independence Day & after two days of my being home alone, mom-dad-bro came back at midnight, 17^th August, which happens to be my dad’s 55^th birthday.

Usually, I get cakes & gifts and throw a surprise at the midnight itself for every family member. Unfortunately, I forgot my dad’s birthday this time. Mom reminded, I wished and slept off cursing myself.

Now, 17^th August happened to be a really hectic day for me. Meeting CEO of JAM Magazine in the morning, lunch at IIM-A, meeting VC in the noon, dean of CEPT & followed by a big press conference for the JOY OF GIVING WEEK. Late evening, had to attend an urgent core team meet of YUVA & a meeting with a special person, who was leaving Ahmedabad the next day was scheduled after that. Good Gods, how could I forget my dad the whole day? How could I miss a family dinner too with grandparents?

Unfortunately, this realization came to me only while I was returning home at around 10 pm. Driving at a speed of 40 km/hr near Ambawadi with Helmet on the head and the helmet glass covering half my face, cool breeze was shearing the glass & slapping my face as if I was a convict, making me feel guilty.

I thought about my birthdays, when my dad would manage a special treat, bestow me with some fundoo gifts and make me feel really special. I did not do even a bit of any such thing for him. I was wondering how dry I made his day, and obviously my big brother would never believe in ‘showing emotions by making someone feel special’ theory. My dad, even for a second, would have felt that “My children do not have time to celebrate my birthday now.”

I was trying to take a left turn from Shivranjni cross roads without showing the signal. Driving like a paralyzed-man; thoughts governed my whole body and hands merely played with the steering. Another bike passed across almost knocking me down, I realized I was on the road and so I started driving normally but the constant slaps on my heart by the cool breeze made me realize the worth of my dad. The guilt feeling pierced directly into my heart and heaved out all the tears from within.

I stopped by a shop and got the most eccentric gift for my dad, a BOURNVILLE. As they say in the ad, ‘you have to earn it’; I thought my dad had really earned it, making me realize my mistake and his worth too.

I reached home, parked my bike, wiped out my face, went in and called dad outside in the compound as I had pre-decided. I did not want to create a ruckus in presence of mom and big brother. Dad came out, I wanted to talk to him and explain to him. It is not very often that I have fallen short of words when it is really necessary to speak. Being unable to utter a single word, I just started crying like a baby and hugged him tight. What a relief that was! I couldn’t remember the last time I had hugged him, but I felt as if it did not matter, as if I was doing the perfect thing in the world at that time, as if no one else mattered to me for that instance, as if I was completely tension-free and care-free. I never ever in my life felt so light hearted.

They correctly say: speaking is not as much effective many a times. Believe me, it was one of the best feelings I’ve ever had in my life. Try it out, if you haven’t till now.

They correctly say: emotions drive us many a times.

Happy Father's Day

Thank You Pa

During my higher secondary studies, I had become kind of dull, had transitioned from a geek to a dreary student. I still vividly remember an incident in 12^th Grade that amplified my respect and love towards my dad.

I had my preliminary exam of PHYSICS and I was completely unprepared, was cent percent sure of failing and that too badly. So, alongwith my cousin, I made a plan to escape the exam. According to the plan, we went late and as we were nearing the office of the Father (Principal), I fainted radically. Father was shocked too, woke me up, made me sit in his office, ordered some medicines for me and called for my dad as I was faking it accurately.

My dad arrived and took me back. On the way, he just told me, “Son, do you remember the story of that thief who started with stealing a pencil and then was transformed into a big thief who was finally hanged to death?” I was wondering what he wanted to sketch from that story. I got angry at the thought that he was comparing me with him.

“Every major action has a root to a minor act in the past history. Just remember one advice, ‘you will never be what you want to be if you bluff and you don’t have control over your mind and heart.’ I don’t want to comment anything on today’s incident but I want to make this day, the biggest learning of your life, and for that I am glad that you bluffed to me. The key is, never deceive your parents, you will be allowed and given everything but from now onwards promise me that all the things you do will be the ones which you can share with me, because you are my smaller fraction and I can very well envisage where you are heading and what you are saying.”

I was completely shocked by that and couldn’t speak anything more than, “I’m sorry, pa” but that incident was indeed the biggest learning of my life and from that day my dad became my best friend too. And during the Father’s Day, this is the incident that comes to my mind about my dad. Thank You dad for always understanding me and always being to me a perfect dad.

Trivial Acts with Vital Impact

Trivial Acts with Vital Impact

11^th grade, I was in, just 16 years of age when I had got my first two-wheeler. In enthusiasm, we, four friends, went for a late night ride. And the petrol in my friend’s vehicle got over. Having no other option, I pushed his vehicle through mine (leg-pushing). It was hard for the first mile, but then I found myself comfortable at it. The next day, found a stranger pushing his petrol-less bike and I could not resist flaunting my newly learned skill. This work kept on giving me more and more opportunities to help others and when I did something of this sort, my day went great; I noticed a different kind of internal confidence that day. So carrying the same forward, till now I have pushed around 1500-2000 petrol-less bikes till the petrol station. And I am really glad that this thing which occurred to me in my teenage years has become a passion for me nowadays. This was the time which made me realize my purpose of life and helped me figure out my lifetime interest.

“Your interest will always start showcasing itself right from your childhood. It is just with TIME that you will know your lifetime interest”

At the age of 18, one more small little incident changed my perspective towards life. One fine summer afternoon, we, six friends were planning to do some random acts of kindness.

The watchman nearby was listening to our conversation. He called me and said that he wanted some book for his son studying in 6^th semester, Mechanical Engineering. I promised him to find the book within 3 days, had a small talk and moved on.

On the other side, we met a small beggar kid. We brought for him an ice-cream, food, cleaned him with water and played with him.

Now, I had forgotten my cap near the watchman, Mahendra Kaka. I went back there and had a long chat.

Mahendra Kaka was going on talking like I was his son and like no one ever lends him a helping hand and more importantly a listening ear. I heard his whole life story-cum-agony. I gave him a jaadu ki jhappi (Magical Hug) and calmed him. Meanwhile, a handicapped guy opposite to us asked Mahendra Kaka to bring him a glass of water. Mahendra Kaka literally ran to get water for him. He was back with tears in his eyes and just hugged me saying, “I know that you have been sent by Lord Swaminarayan, though it does not matter which religion you follow.”

As I was trying to calm him, one more guy approached him and asked for some address, Kaka was more than happy to treat him with warmth and explain the exact address. But these were the words that touched my heart, “Beta, see to it that you don’t catch heat while you walk to that place; walk in shades.” Kaka was so generous to complete strangers too.

I touched his feet, completely impressed, “Kaka, you just proved yourself wrong that the Lord has sent me to you. I am nothing compared to you. It’s you who has been sent by the God to serve people like this; to spread smile, even after standing in the scorching heat for the whole day. When you make others happy, God will make sure that your life is filled with joy. You have really inspired me a lot by your acts. But there is one more thing I wish you can do to oblige me.”

“I am ready to do that son, even if you ask me to climb these four floors four times with my damaged leg”, said Kaka.

“Kaka, you have to quit your habit of chewing tobacco.” And at the same moment, he threw away the packets of tobacco in his pocket and said, “I take an oath that I should die if I touch this tobacco again.”

I was just thinking that what a great kindness preacher Kaka could be. I just managed a big smile with wet eyes, and hugged him while he completely burst out with tears.

I somehow managed to make him smile and promised to visit him the next day. Kaka taught me how to be calm and composed everytime and smile to everyone, leaving aside agonies, no matter in what situation we are.

I took the blessings of Kaka and invited him for a lunch with all of us.

“Beta, I want to do something like you. I was watching you from far when you helped that little kid. I cannot contribute money as of now but the day both of my sons get settled, I promise that I will distribute 50 kg ‘Khichdi’ (a Gujarati dish) to all those who dwell in streets”, were Kaka’s final words.

With a big smile and blush on mine as well as Kaka’s face, I went back home on my bike, but this time, silently smiling throughout my way.

“Being Kind is just not enough when you can make people kinder”- Mahendra Kaka.

And since then, whenever I go for any random acts of kindness, Kaka’s advice always keeps on echoing in my soul.

One more recent incident I would like to incite is a kindness act done to me by a teenage kid. I go to Visamo Kids foundation, a foster home for underprivileged kids, every Sunday to teach those kids and play with them.

One Sunday evening, Sanjay, an 8^th std. dyslexic student showed me his 5 feet long, working model of car that he had prepared from waste. I was so amazed that I brought media houses to cover his story and he was in the top news.

The Sunday after that happened to be our last Sunday with the kids before a long vacation. We were supposed to take them out for a holiday and when I went there, everyone was ready except Sanjay, who was painting something on a wooden piece. When he didn’t move even when I asked him to get ready, I got angry on him. He hastily finished the painting and made us all late for the outing. I guess he found out from my gestures, that I was annoyed with him. I even made him understand not to waste other’s time. He just silently listened.

When we were back and I was bidding them final goodbye, he asked me to wait for few seconds. When he came back, I could trace something hidden in the back of his hands.

He politely said with a big smile, “Bhaiya, I am really sorry that I annoyed you but as this was your last day with us, I did not have any option but to finish the painting today itself. Please accept this very small gift from me.” And handed me the beautiful painting in the wooden piece.

I was speechless, couldn’t say anything, but my eyes spoke and I was glad that I was wearing glares that particular day.

Some gifts are not just gifts; they are lifetime moments, memories and incidents that touch your heart and dwell there forever in the deepest possible corner of the sensitive organ.

ELECTION '09

India, the biggest democracy, and in few days, I am going to be the part of the biggest democratic election of the world. So, I just thought to take out time and write something about the same.

There is a sense of responsibility and duty without any doubts for voting. But I was just thinking some days back, “Is my vote going to count? Is it going to make any difference?” The immediate reply that I got from my mind was, “NO, it won’t make any difference, cos the candidate you vote for isn’t going to make any difference if he gets elected, I m sure he would be just sitting, chilling in the Parliament, enjoying his status of a top citizen of India, going for some international tours as an ambassador of India, doing unruly behavior or doing a bollywood movie or acting unruly or indulging into Corruption and once found guilty, he would resign and then jump in for the next elections..!!”

We'd all like to vote for the best man, but he's never a candidate. ~Frank McKinney "Kin" Hubbard

Thereafter, I was invited to be a part of the panel in two panel discussions on the role of youth & students in this election. It was indeed a great experience and fortunately I have one more invitation for a similar discussion this Sunday (26/4/09), I was quite dominant and a bit aggressive in those discussions, but it changed my whole perception towards voting.

Post the first discussion itself; I really felt that we should all vote only after a deep analysis on all the candidates and their manifestos. So, I downloaded the manifestos of all the candidates of my constituency and starting making a SWOT analysis of the same. Unfortunately, here in India, we do not get a chance to have the complete life bio-data of the candidates. Also, after this, I started asking a set of questions to my class-mates, colleagues, friends, etc. and unfortunately I found out that only around 10 to 20% of them could name all the candidates running from their constituency. I was disappointed that they call themselves YOUTH and even then they cast their votes without even knowing the name of the candidate, only for a particular party. If we do not get out of our mindsets for a particular party, then who are we to blame the system?

After that, I took up this challenge to ask as much youth as I can to go through the manifestos and only then cast their vote. It was then that I felt that youngsters like me who has already analyzed the manifestos of all the candidates can go and vote for the correct and deserving candidate. Also, I plan to take this ahead to a very massive level till the next Loksabha elections, make everyone aware about their responsibility and duty and how they can perform that precisely and accurately. If all the 60% of the voters who are below the age of 35 years can be made aware that they need to stop blind voting and use their vote for really making a difference, then it will yield fruitful results towards a stronger nation. And then perhaps we can hope for a bigger change in 2014.

“You are helping elect a bad candidate if you are good citizen, voting without analyzing” – Hardeep Pathak

It is by the same thought I have posted this on my blog, hoping many youngsters can still go through it and if this can motivate a few to act in the similar way.

After talking about the voting aspect, I would also love to comment on the political system of India, which I guess is the main encumbrance in India’s growth. I completely support the solution provided by Shree Lyngdoh towards changing the election system. What I criticize the most is that due to the system, even a person getting 20 or 30% of the total votes can get elected with a whooping 70-80% of the populace in his own constituency against him. This is not it, even he can become the Prime Minister of India, by just getting a meager 20-30% of votes in a stretch of 25-30 kms of his constituency. The system that is practiced in France is that there is firstly, this type of election held and out of that a voting is again held for the top 2 candidates. This will ensure that one of them gets atleast the support of more than 50% of the populace. And this will also ensure the end of addressing petite issues like caste or religion based voting and also ensure the end of hate-speeches like that of Mr. Varun Gandhi.

“One week is a very long time in Politics”- Winston Churchill.

We still have a complete week before election, so I just request to all of you who have taken the pain to read this (which means that you are a responsive citizen of India), start acting dutifully, make others aware about doing so and utilize your vote to elect the best person.

There is not much that can be done in this election but we can do a lot if many like-minded people like us (I include you also in this us, if you are still reading) can get together, talk about elections even in the time when there are no elections, reach out as much as we can and make a massive movement in the whole nation, not to vote without analyzing a candidate, and to cast the abstention vote if none of the candidates actually deserve. And if we really are able to make this movement massive till the next Loksabha election, we can actually demand the whole life bio-data of all the candidates, throughout the nation, and whosoever fails to do so, won’t get our votes.

“I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians” ~Charles de Gaulle

FAMILY

If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
~Diane Loomans, from "If I Had My Child To Raise Over Again"

What you all are going to read now, isn’t anything really great but it’s the most important thing for me. So, let me try to make it interesting for you too.

My dad, something more than the world’s most caring dad, I can undoubtedly say that he does not need to go through this verse of Mr. Diane Loomans, as it says “If I has my child to raise over again”, but I am proud to say that my dad has already done that. He has been everything to me, but my greatest limitation now has become that I can rarely show my affection and care for my parents. Anyways, I am trying a lot to improve on that front. My dad has never restricted me from doing all that I love to do and encouraged a lot for that. Whenever I present a new idea to him, he just makes me aware about all the limitations or dangers that the idea can pose. And those are always the ones about which I would have never thought upon if he wasn’t there to alert me. I love him a lot for that. I hope I would be someday able to live upto his expectations and express my love and care for him.

What's done to children, they will do to society. ~Karl Menninger

My mom, I can firmly say that, has kept this in mind always, unaware about the quote from Mr. Karl. She has always loved me a lot and many a times, I am able to show my love and care for her, the way she does. I love her suspicious nature too, and she is always there with me whenever I have had a small spat with my dad, to support me and then finally, when I would calm down, she would caress my hair and make me understand everything. She is the best example for those who say that a mother can never see her child getting hurt and she would be the first one to shed tears of happiness on some achievement of his child.

I happened to go to Japan last November, and my mom, packed a bag full of snacks, while my dad made a list of all the things to carry and got them and packed them personally. My mom was the only one to shed tears on my departure for just 17 days, while my dad was the only one to tell me spend and enjoy as much as you can, you might not get such chance again within a few years. When I was first admitted in Baroda for studies, during the initial days, my mom used to call me up every 2 hours and cry silently and pass the phone to dad when she would not be able to talk further.

Mom and Dad, I am really sorry that I cannot express myself openly about how much I love you, I wish someday I could. But I promise I will stand by your expectations and thanks for always being with me, understanding me, helping me, caring for me even though I do not many a times, letting me do what I love to do, etc, etc, etc, etc. (The list is actually endless. I think I shouldn’t have started this list, which I cannot complete).

My big brother is a hell of a brother. Irritating many a times, gets angry on small things and fights with me over petite issues, but cares a lot, always guides me and encourages me over something, gives his best when I ask for some help. His problem is just that he can never express his care for his near ones. Hats off to him when it comes to studies, getting 5-6 degrees aint any piece of cake.

My family, apart from these blood relations, consists of many more, about whom I think I should better mention in some other blog.